My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
