he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
