ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
