Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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