oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Randomize
