happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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