i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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