you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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