eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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