You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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