when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
