I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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