I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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