there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
