wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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