who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
