cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
