he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
