wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
