Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
