The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
