they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
