the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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