She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
if only i could text you this smell
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
