Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
