So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
