I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
