Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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