New invention idea: vibrating tampons
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
