at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
