sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
