party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
