Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
