the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
