It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
