i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
