I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
