Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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