Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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