my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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