I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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