I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
