I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
