Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Hippo gnu deer
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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