so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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