It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm always down for nudity.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
