I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
