Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
