I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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