We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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