you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
