I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
