Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
